Monday, January 18, 2010

Winnie the Pooh Day♥

So happy Monday again and Happy Martin luther day.
It also happen's to be Winnie the pooh day :D
I'm not really sure what I should even really write about. I'm going to try to write everyday, but who even knows if thats going to happen...consdiering I've already run out of ideas to write about on the third post.
Aleast there's school tomorrow, I don't think I can deal another day being locked up in my room all day on the phone with my parents complaining "come downsatirs"
Not that I don't like being on the phone... I do.
I just wish I could get out more... like with James of course...
I dont know, like have little excitement, somthing that can form into a meomery (oh god my speeliing is horrible)
Two weeks ago we went to the communtity center just walking from the school and honestly it's sad to say it was one of the more exciting moment's i ever endured.
Just getting lost for a while, and crossing the train tracks... walking alone in the dark... It wasn't just the kissing... (not that, that wasn't was)
But just the feeling of being out... The fact that nobody but us knew where we were.
I don't know, somtimes I just want to go anywhere.
even if it's as stupid as a library or the school courtyard.
I just want to get lost...
be exicted...

Sorry if that didn't make sense, because I bet it didnt.
James isn't answering any of my messages, and I really should write somthing about him... I just cant even process my thought's right now.
Hopefully he knows i love him... even though I could never write my feelings out as goregous as he can...
I still feel terrible that I got him sick... I should be protecting/helping not making matter's worse as I am.
I miss him so much...
I'm even wearing the sweater that he...
well I guess i should explain since this is the "Secret life of the Polyvore Painter"

If you're under 14/15 please skip until u see **********************

I'm taking a deep breath before even writing this.
As you guy's know me and james have been dating for...uhm 7 almost 8 months.
And last month we fianlly talked about what we thought of sex as... like should we do it? should we wait? what can we do?
And since I didn't know what half the sex terms meant... it went into mostly explaining, alot of explaining.
And i could problby go into every little ocurrence of steps to what happened.
I felt his.. on my leg, the time we talked about on the phone for like 2 hours straight...etc,.
But long story short i let him borrow my sweater for the night.. and we ended up having him jackoff into it.
now you're problaby thinking OMG EW.
no it wasn't like that.
it was washed.
and it's not that bad.
Just understand it was because of love, nothing sexual.
we're not immature.


So anyways, Happy Winnie the Pooh day.
I loved how such a innocent title had such dirty things inside.
Well, you problaby dont think of me the same... right? x]

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Happy Sunday's to Mondays

Happy Sundayyy:D 11:57pm
I can't believe how fast today went, aleast we get off from la schooolio tomorrow. I still have alot of homework to make up though, but aleast if I get honors my dad will stop with this st. Anthony's stuff. I should problaby explain what happend.
Last Thursday I texted my dad after crying from cramps and being uncomforable to come bring me advil or somthing and like a small snack so wouldnt get dizzy from it.
While he was on his way my mum texted me saying that they had recieved a progress report card from the High school saying that I was failing 3 of my 6 classes?
So of course I start to freak out, knowing that he's going to yell at me, but when he pulled up to the school he looked as if he was crying and had even bought me a boston creme doughnut from dunkin donuts. I was so confused, I rejected the doughnut took the advil and went back into the school.

Later that day right before gym when we were in the locker room he started sending me text messages that were like "are you coming on the bus?"
and "come home asap"
I honestly had thought someone died.

But when I walked in my dad stood there and said "Okay lets go to the gym"
I started to explain I had to change into Gym clothes and he grew angry
the rest of my family stood there perfect grins on their face,... they knew what was happening.
But being clueless i got dressed and got into the car.
We were only 10/15 mins from the house at the gas station when he dropped it on me
that he knew that I had been dating James for a while.
He went onto my facebook and found out I was recieving threats from kids at school.
He explained that we werent going to the gym...
we were going to take a tour of st, anythonys, a Catholic High school 15 miles away.
I burst into tears instantly of course.

The tour was horrid, but pretending to like it was the only way to end the 2 hour tour of the 3 story school.

It's not sunday and he's still talking bout the school.
But I dont want to go.
I have james... and... and...well...nobody
but thats not the point.
i dont know yet
hopefuilly i wont go.
But it's my dad... so I'm inferring that I'm not going to go.

I really cant leave him... ugh
but anytime he's not around I feel like snapping in half and burning to nothing.
sorry for that ramble

Happy Monday 12;13 am

Saturday, January 16, 2010

First Impression

Hi! I guess I should start this off with a good impression considering I'm suppose to be this good little sweet girl from America.
I'm Caitlin, and for those of you who don't know me...
I'm from Polyvore,, maybe you know me maybe you dont.

I guess I twittle my whole life away making those stupid drawings, not that I'm good or anything.

This is a terrible first impression I bet, you problaby think I'm insane.

But I'm Caitlin, Just Caitlin...
And some things to know about me:
♥ I'm fifteen and already found my one true love.
♥It's not fake love if anybody was wondering.
♥I'm a 10th grader.. I'm from New York
♥I ramble... alot.
♥ I'm a great person once u get to know me.
(just really corny :})