Thursday, May 27, 2010

So. I became this big fat whore.

1.a woman who engages in promiscuous sexual intercourse, usually for money; prostitute; harlot; strumpet.

I feel like the last three days, have wiped every ache of happiness I've experienced and soaked it in hate. It's just all happy-happy now... "be happy" "please"
But How can I be?
I feel like just a emotional failure, I feel as though I failed,
and as selfish as I am, I failed myself the most..

Maybe the reason you didn't think I loved you.. was because.. I never rlly opened up..
I dont open up.
I dont like to.

Inside of me I lovd you, but on the outside.. I wasn't showing it.
ALl I want now is to be that frilly-silly-willy freak who will jump around and be a werido
and not care..
I'm so sick of this show, I put on..
I want to be the one you adore,
the one u want in your arms..
the one you dream of..
not the one you despise.
I've taken every measure
not to
not to break down
not to show how much this is getting ot me.
I just want to be your princess
not your fake ugly whore...
I can name everything I miss:
~You whispering in my ear
~You knowing my every reaction
~You knowing how to make me happy
~Your kisses
~Your long hugs
~When you'd look me in the eyes
~You saying I love you
~Hanging out
~Just talking.
~You making me feel good about evrythng i did

...Us being happy..
As one..