Winnie the Pooh Day♥

So happy Monday again and Happy Martin luther day.
It also happen's to be Winnie the pooh day :D
Hoorah.
I'm not really sure what I should even really write about. I'm going to try to write everyday, but who even knows if thats going to happen...consdiering I've already run out of ideas to write about on the third post.
Aleast there's school tomorrow, I don't think I can deal another day being locked up in my room all day on the phone with my parents complaining "come downsatirs"
Not that I don't like being on the phone... I do.
I just wish I could get out more... like with James of course...
I dont know, like have little excitement, somthing that can form into a meomery (oh god my speeliing is horrible)
Two weeks ago we went to the communtity center just walking from the school and honestly it's sad to say it was one of the more exciting moment's i ever endured.
Just getting lost for a while, and crossing the train tracks... walking alone in the dark... It wasn't just the kissing... (not that, that wasn't exicting..it was)
But just the feeling of being out... The fact that nobody but us knew where we were.
I don't know, somtimes I just want to go anywhere.
even if it's as stupid as a library or the school courtyard.
I just want to get lost...
be exicted...

Sorry if that didn't make sense, because I bet it didnt.
James isn't answering any of my messages, and I really should write somthing about him... I just cant even process my thought's right now.
Hopefully he knows i love him... even though I could never write my feelings out as goregous as he can...
I still feel terrible that I got him sick... I should be protecting/helping not making matter's worse as I am.
I miss him so much...
I'm even wearing the sweater that he...
well I guess i should explain since this is the "Secret life of the Polyvore Painter"

If you're under 14/15 please skip until u see **********************

I'm taking a deep breath before even writing this.
As you guy's know me and james have been dating for...uhm 7 almost 8 months.
And last month we fianlly talked about what we thought of sex as... like should we do it? should we wait? what can we do?
And since I didn't know what half the sex terms meant... it went into mostly explaining, alot of explaining.
And i could problby go into every little ocurrence of steps to what happened.
I felt his.. on my leg, the time we talked about on the phone for like 2 hours straight...etc,.
But long story short i let him borrow my sweater for the night.. and we ended up having him jackoff into it.
now you're problaby thinking OMG EW.
no it wasn't like that.
it was washed.
and it's not that bad.
Just understand it was because of love, nothing sexual.
we're not immature.

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So anyways, Happy Winnie the Pooh day.
I loved how such a innocent title had such dirty things inside.
Well, you problaby dont think of me the same... right? x]
love.
Caitlim♥